Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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