Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
