there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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