So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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