standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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