Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
