i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
