i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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