Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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