Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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