yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
