i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
