fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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