im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
