would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
