I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
