You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
