I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
