even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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