apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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