well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
