I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
