My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
