please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
