he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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