But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
