YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
