Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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