that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
