google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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