i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
