it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?