South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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