So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
