Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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