Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
