Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
