Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
