My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
