just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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