I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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