So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
