She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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