I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
