Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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