well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
