how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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