Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
