Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
