Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
