oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
