yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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