It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
