you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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