I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
