I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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