Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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