the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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