Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
