i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
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We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
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And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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