wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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