I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
