thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
