he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
